Little Miss Tattooed Debutante

Women today are a different breed from even my Mom's day. I cannot even convince her that in order to loose weight she actually has to break a sweat. She just doesn't think that sweating is something she should EVER do. Much less maybe get mud on her shoes. What if she tracked that mud into her pristine castle? Whereas women of the next generation are adventurous and muscular.

We do things like surf, ski, and go ziplining through the woods! Who says those extreme sports are just for men? Yet, somehow, we are still held to a different standard still. Which brings me to my internal debate of the day....

Am I too old to be Miss Byrd?

I really like calling people Miss and Mr so-and-so. It's oh so respectful and Southern and it is how all well bred people address their neighbors. I was speaking to a friend today and he made a comment of how I was too successful to be an old maid. Well maid be damned. I will not acknowledge THAT as my fate. A maid cleans your house. However, at 34, have I aged out of being a Miss? If I were to date a twenty something the Urban Dictionary has defined me a being a PUMA. 

"A young woman typically in the age range of 20 to 32. They lurk in the shadows of bars and clubs wearing the newest fashions and listening to the trendiest music. They mostly hunt in packs for a man typically younger than them that they can string around for the night and make there boy toy. They sometimes travel with a Cougar or two, these are there mothers. Be warned being mauled by a Puma is better than a Cougar or Sabretooth" Not entirely a bad thing. I will take the puma reference...AND the little miss. At least until I am a cougar.

Vacay at Kiawah

If you were to compare my stress levels to the US terrorist alarm color code, last week I would have told you I was headed towards a solid Cardinal red. I was clinching my jaw, pursing my lips, my hips hurt, and the furrow in my brow was becoming a permanent fixture. All things so very un-Southern. If I kept up like that I was going to have to move....North (gasp)

Intro a call from my oldest and dearest. We have been BFF's since middle school and there is a big 'ole pile of stories to tell about this one. She is the Goose to my Maverick,  but the point is she called. It just so happens that her parents have a wonderful time share at Kiawah Beach, SC that they are letting her use for a girls weekend. Would I like to come? OH YEAH!!

A full week. Now, just because I already live near the beach do not roll those eyes at me. We are talking a full on week at a family owned 8 bedroom house right on the beach. It had everything ready for a vacation, we are talking all the towels and sheets and every other amenity just waiting for us to show up. And just to add that truly Southern touch, the caretakers greeted us at the door. I felt just as home as I could possibly.

Walks on the beach, bike rides through the spanish moss and live oak trees, hula hooping in the back yard, sitting on the deck drinking cocktails and reading a mindless work of fiction all successfully reduced my stress level to a nice cream color.

Let's hope this feeling lasts through the summer. Stress is so Un-Southern.

Our first cocktail concoction to start the week off just right:

Make a strong batch of chai tea
Put some ice in a sweet tea pitcher
put lots of rum in the pitcher (Goose put so much in ~~whoa, WHEN!)
Allow the tea to steep and cool before filling up the rest of the pitcher with chai
top off with some sweetened condensed milk, sweeten to taste
YUM!

Don't forget the view! Perfect weather for Kiawah Spring Break 2011.

Child Support.

Every Southern Girl grows up with the idea inherent to her existence that she will hit her 20's, and her life of dedication to family being the only logical next step. Of course, there are the ever so important college years at her Daddy's Alma Mater. At 34, the only excuse for me not being married with children is that I am a doctor, which I am not. Therefore, I have no excuse.

This no excuse for a single woman lands in a lot of awkward moments. It seems my very being is an anomaly. The questions from men can be unbearable. Don't you have somebody taking care of you? do you EVER want kids? That I can handle. What bothers me is that I have been incrementally removed from social events. Old friends decide there is no way I can be around their men, so I get removed from invites, Christmas card lists, and weekly brunches. Best friends delete me from their address books before I can even pay off the bridal shower I threw for them. I'm lucky if I get a thank you!

Then there is the part where, as a Southern Girl, you have to be prepared to take care of everything. The unspoken double standard is that you need a husband to take care you, but once married, you are supposed to take care of him. Which includes smiling quietly while he orders you around calling you "woman". Woman! Where's that jacket I asked for 30 seconds ago?!?

So true to my roots, I was out looking for a husband. It's been a rough week. Sunday I took a walk on the beach with a very nice man in his mid-40's. His 16 year old daughter, thinning hair, and sunspots on his face kept reminding me more of an uncle than a lover. So he was out. Monday my car broke down (it's new), then the most horrific date on Tuesday. The most I am going to say about it is that the dude has a girls' name, a high voice, and not enough to make up for it. He also already has 2 kids that he pays child support for, and made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want anymore. In fact, if we start dating, he will most likely get snipped. Which I am sure will help with his high voice. It went downhill from there, and I am still exhausted from the aftermath. Also, annoyed that he made me buy the after dinner beers. I am wondering if I could send him a text that scares him off so that he never bothers me again. I think maybe I should start talking about marriage and children. I would have no excuse if I didn't!

I'm just getting started

hi.

I'm a little rusty on the blogging thing, but I am hoping to use this just as a daily diary type thing. Somewhere I can release my rants and raves without offending the sensitivities of my friends. when I got home from my all girls New Year's trip to Winston Salem I decided that this was a year of Reckoning for me. After kicking my fiance to the curb and quitting smoking in Fall 2009 I was left feeling like my life was just going to go downhill from there. Here, I am going to record how I get it back up and kicking again. As my Dad would say --time to get it and go, two butters and a jelly.